Lambrini Girls’ Selin to “withdraw” from touring: “I can’t handle the life I’m currently leading”

Lambrini Girls bassist Selin Macieira-Boşgelmez has announced that she won’t be taking part in the band’s upcoming live dates.

The musician – who announced their name change in June this year – took to Instagram to share a very honest, brave statement about her struggles in the live environment, and the “distress and pain” that developed due to Lambrini Girls’ busy touring schedule last year.

“Being in this band has taken me places and shown me things I never thought I’d see, and I’m forever grateful that I get to play shows for a living and write music that people enjoy. But after extensive touring, I’ve been forced to come face to face with my limit,” Selin writes.

“I’ve always struggled badly in touring environments, and despite my best efforts, those struggles have consumed me entirely and spat me out again. Growing up with bipolar and autism undiagnosed until four years ago, I’ve lived entirely accustomed to severe discomfort as a baseline for existence. Constant overstimulation, fear of crowds, strong sense of otherness, depression, psychosis, social and self-destruction in manic episodes (I called them my ‘extrovert phases’) were my norm, and after a lifetime being told there is nothing the matter with me and that I must simply become less shy, all this has trained me to ignore all blaring warning signs.

“Last year, after extensive touring, I developed a physical tic that has since progressed to a vocal tic as well, and is causing me a lot of distress and pain. This year’s May, I had one of the most intense and destructive manic episodes of my life so far. I’ve had inexplicable pains and ailments every single time I’m on tour for over a year. I’m in a constant state of fear, anger, despair – like a cornered feral cat – due to the intense environment I’m exposed and it’s broken me down. The realisation that I’ve lost the sense of self I was trying hard to gain, and that I do not like this version of myself, has forced me to accept I can’t handle the life I’m currently leading.”

Selin continues that, “I’ve never wanted anything more in life than to be able to exist normally in this world, and having the realisation that this is not possible has put me in a dangerous place mentally. I have to withdraw and try to simulate a safe environment, to mend the foundations I’ve cracked in myself to try and come back to myself.”

So, stepping into the fold for Lambrini Girls’ U.S., UK and European dates is Kaitlin Pelkey of Big Girl, who Selin calls “brilliant” and says that, “I assure you the show will suffer no diminution in the slightest.”

Kerrang! sends our best wishes to Selin at this time.

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