Rock up your Christmas with the loudest winter slaylist ever

Cold, isn't it? Dark, too. And Christmas has got the volume turned down a bit again. What you need is something to give the season a kick up the arse. Christmas music is a minefield – for every Last Christmas banger, there's a Mistletoe by Justin Bieber – so we got together with our friends at Dead Man's Fingers Rum, who are experts in fuelling festive cheer, and made the ultimate soundtrack to the season.

Fortunately, as ever, rock provides. We've got My Chemical Romance doing a much better job of All I Want For Christmas Is You than Mariah Carey ever did, Betraying The Martyrs doing something to Let It Go that the writers of Frozen definitely never foresaw, Sabaton celebrating war being over (for a day), and Corey Taylor being a grinch.

It's no turkeys and all crackers. Right, when's Santa getting here so we can start this thing?!