“This
song is completely different to the demo we entered the studio with. It was
originally longer and had no repeating sections, but Sam raised concerns at the
stuttering nature of the flow of the song. I took a day off from tracking to
attend a family wedding and when I came back the next day, Carl looked up at me
from the sofa and said something like, ‘Sam has fixed your song.’ He chopped
out the second half and repeated some of the existing sections. It was a
relief, to be honest, as I had been struggling with this one after rewriting it
over and over across years. It was the one we were least confident in out of
the 12 tracks we had when we entered the studio.
“What
we ended up with was one of my favourite tracks on the album. It is just so
bleak and it has some of my favourite of Carl’s lyrics and subjects. I don’t
usually have much of a personal relationship with my own music, but I ended up
imprinting some of the things I was feeling at the time on to this one. My dad
unexpectedly passed away eight weeks before we entered the studio, and on top
of that I was living in Airbnbs in Stoke for three weeks, often by myself, away
from my young family, drinking red wine and living with my own thoughts and
feelings. It was tough. On the last day of tracking we went through and added
guitar feedback to all the tracks. This was the last track we did and it was
the very last bit of tracking to do on the whole album. After we finished, I
put everything down, went outside, looked up at the studio and just started
crying. It felt like a bookend to a period of my life which had drained absolutely
everything out of me and tested me. When I listen back to this track I can feel
it all over again and it’s very cathartic.”