What inspired that darkness? It feels like there’s a theme of growing up and awareness of the essence of who you are changing at the core of it all.
“I think it’s all of that. Being 20, so far, has been incredibly fun. I’m sure I’ll look back at these years and think that they were a blast. I also think that my 20s have been a complete mess and a nightmare! Those two things completely coexist. Everyone around me is also changing, and so it’s also about how relationships are evolving. When you start to get older you start to have questions about identity. It’s a very existential age. I wanted to explore that.”
If someone were to psychoanalyse your state of mind from the lyrics, what conclusions might they come to?
“(Laughs) I showed it to my parents, and they were like, ‘Are you okay? This is really sad!’ It’s sort of an identity crisis and sort of an anxiety song, but at the end there’s a coming to terms with that; to just let it happen and live through it.
“I moved out of my parents’ [house] for a while, and it’s about that, too. It was this, ‘I’m an adult now!’ thing. And I had a really great, crazy experience living on my own, but it was so intense. So, I went back home. I felt really embarrassed because I thought I could handle being grown up. Turns out, sometimes you need to go home and recentre.”
Being a teenager is hard for most people. Harder still nowadays, with the added pressures of social media. Doing it all in the public eye like you did must be even more difficult. How well do you think you survived your teenhood?
“You know, man, I have a really great family, support system, and friends. So, I think I came through it a relatively happy person. Sometimes I’ll talk to people a little younger than me and their big fear is getting cancelled. I talked to a 15-year-old about that and they were worried they’d say the wrong thing, a friend would post about it, and their life would be over. That’s an actual fear for 15 year olds now. I’m so glad I missed out on that.”
That’s so heavy. Especially at an age when you’re supposed to make mistakes, in order to develop as a person…
“It’s incredibly heavy. Also, feeling that defeated when you’re at an age when you should be having a great time is sad. At that age the brain is still developing. You’re freaking out, your body is freaking out, and it’s a really weird time. For that to be in front of everyone is intense. For that reason, I’ve been off social media. I have an account, but I only really post stuff for film or promote music. Once in a while I’ll see what’s going on, but I periodically delete the app from my phone, and that feels great. I feel so much more present in my life. I think social media is cool, but I also think it can be damaging.”