After 2019’s triumphant Celebrity Mansions catapulted Dinosaur Pile-Up into the form of their lives, Matt Bigland’s health took an alarming twist. Battling ulcerative colitis, he entered arguably the darkest period of his life. Speaking exclusively to Kerrang!, he opens up about channelling this trauma into the band’s riot of a new album – which is aptly titled I’ve Felt Better…
Momentarily unable to talk or swallow, covered in excruciating ulcers and isolated due to the pandemic, Matt Bigland’s health hit its lowest point across 2021 and 2022. In fact, the Dinosaur Pile-Up frontman wouldn’t have even been able to physically blurt out an ironic laugh if you told him that the next time he went on a proper tour, it would be supporting Limp Bizkit.
On guitar duties for his wife Karen Dió, Matt is calling Kerrang! from Zurich, in the belly of the wildest nu-metal tour that the UK and Europe have seen this year. He’s living the high life, too. The Karen Dió camp have been kitted out with a swanky tour bus – personally arranged by Fred Durst – which they are sharing with Ecca Vandal.
“That type of generosity is few and far between,” muses a cheery Matt, almost unfazed by the fact that he’s currently recovering from food poisoning. Then again, a stomach upset must almost feel minor in comparison to the past five years of his life.
Buzzing off the hype of 2019’s raucous Celebrity Mansions, the pandemic halted the momentum behind the British alt. rock veterans which had been generated by the sucker punch of songs like Back Foot and Thrash Metal Cassette. Soon after, Matt’s physical health began to gradually spiral, initially diagnosed with Crohn’s before that was corrected to ulcerative colitis.
Constant trips to hospital were worsened by the loneliness of COVID-19, and seemingly never-ending when hard painkillers like morphine proved ineffective. Karen, his then-girlfriend, was half the world away in Brazil. Unbeknownst to their fanbase at the time, a new Dinosaur Pile-Up record would have been one of the last things on Matt’s mind, which was overwhelmed with existential thoughts and intense pain.
“I’ve definitely got some form of PTSD from it,” he reflects. “Every time I get sick now, I’m on the edge of being quite emotional, because it brings back that vulnerability. The most upsetting and emotional part of it was my absolute vulnerability.”
When his friend recommended a Chinese herbal medicine – which he still uses to this day – Matt found a remedy to help him live with these symptoms. Gradually, with no time pressure or agenda, he set about crafting Dinosaur Pile-Up’s fifth album. Inevitably linked to his darkest hour, it retains that fundamental glint in the eye – embodied by the title, Matt’s default phrase whenever someone would check in on him: I’ve Felt Better.
As the band officially announce I’ve Felt Better – due for release in August – Matt exclusively speaks to Kerrang! about reliving his dark days through the album, retaining Dinosaur Pile-Up’s key sonic ingredients, and why, as a songwriter, he’s still the same Matt we know and love…
How are you holding up with your symptoms at the moment?
“It’s definitely been smoother. 2021 and 2022 when I was in hospital, there wasn’t much room to get worse. Through to 2024, there were some pretty significant hiccups that I had to manage. But I’ve got some control over getting sick, since I found the Chinese herbal medication – it’s undeniably effective.”
Was it challenging to relive those memories when making the album?
“Being able to get it all out was quite cathartic. The process of physically recording it was super challenging, because I’d essentially been either on a couch or a hospital bed for two years. [Recent single] ’Bout To Lose It is a good example, this heavy metal big old fucker of a song. I hold myself to a pretty high standard… I had to do a lot of sessions to get the [right] vocal performance, because my energy levels were super fucking low.”
Was it equally cathartic to tell your fanbase the full story through those Instagram videos? Some of the footage is really stark…
“I went to get a coffee in Hastings, and I happened to be wearing a Dinosaur shirt. This guy saw my shirt, and was like, ‘Dinosaur Pile-Up! Are they still going?’ – he had no idea [it was me]. That moment stayed with me for weeks, because I was like, ‘Fuck, people think we’ve broken up,’ because we just dropped off the map.
“It felt so significant, the fact that we were coming back at all. I could have so easily called it, being genuinely honest. Nothing is worth your health, having your physical freedom taken away from you, being with the person you love… I had to explain the gravity of the situation. I avoided [editing the videos] because it was quite intense, having to go through it again. But once I’d finished them, it felt like a weight had been lifted.”
You’ve mentioned how ‘I’ve felt better’ became your default response. How tough was it to keep the extent of your experiences to yourself? It’s quite the contrast from the role of the frontman being worshipped by over 2,000 fans…
“I couldn’t talk because the ulcers were so fucked. My throat was literally collapsing and no-one was allowed to visit because of COVID. I was completely defenceless, I had nothing. You take the simplest bodily functions for granted – I had to psych myself up for every swallow. Life was torturous, man. It was constant, agonising pain.
“To go through that in isolation was deeply traumatic… I never thought about ending my life, but I can completely understand why someone would, having gone through that. I kept [Karen] in my mind – ‘I’m gonna see K, we’re gonna get married.’ That was a driving force to get through it.”
You’ve always been a tongue-in-cheek, witty lyricist – was it challenging to retain that element of your personality on the album, given the heavy subject matter?
“I don’t think I’ve changed as a person. I have added life experience now, but I’m still Matt. I still have the same sense of humour and inspirations, the same relationship with music. I feel like I’m still able to access that Back Foot type of cadence – that’s one of my things – I'm just also able to access something else that maybe I wasn’t able to before.
“I’ve never really had a big ego, but I experienced ego death or some form of disassociation during that whole experience. That voice came out in songs like I’ve Felt Better – it has an apathy that maybe I didn’t have before. There’s still songs like My Way and Big Dogs, because I’m never gonna lose that. Fuck it, here’s a big, stupid rock song. I love that challenge of trying to nail those songs.”
We often talk about things getting better, but on the penultimate track Unfamiliar, is there something to be emphasised in just merely feeling familiar again?
“You take your familiarity completely for granted. When I wrote Unfamiliar, that was definitely one of the major weird points ones, just being unfamiliar to myself, looking at myself and being like, ‘Who the fuck is that?’ Disassociating with yourself… I was so fucking thin, like, skin and bones, and then it would flip-flop to when I was on high-dose steroids, and I was three times the size that I’d ever been. I didn’t quite feel like myself… you’re almost looking at yourself in the third person.”
Big Dogs and My Way really carry the torch for that fundamental Dinosaur Pile-Up identity…
“Deftones have had such a long career, and they’ve never fucked it up or tried not to be themselves. I look up to bands like that – you’re sticking to your thing and it’s great. I never want to release a record for inauthentic reasons. I think about the heritage and the quality of the band a lot. It’s weird, because we haven’t ever exploded into the stratosphere of fame and success, but there’s an appreciation for the band that is pretty solid. The fanbase is just so strong and loyal, which is fucking cool. I really appreciate that, and it means a lot.”
Dinosaur Pile-Up’s new album I’ve Felt Better is due out August 22 via Mascot Records. The band will tour the UK between September 5 – 13.
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